“How’s married life?”
I’m never really sure how to answer a question like that. I’m not offended by it or anything — it just doesn’t make any sense. I guess what it really means is, “How are things going? Also, I know that you were recently married.” That seems easier to unpack, somehow. Still, I tend to think about it as it’s asked, which is to say, “How has being married affected your life?” I have to admit that the answer is ‘not much’. Planning for the wedding, getting married, and going on the honeymoon were huge deals. Being married is pretty much like not being married. Maybe this is only true for people that are together for seven years before they tie the knot.
The biggest part of getting married, for us, was throwing a big party. Your wedding is probably the most memorable party you’ll ever have, so the pressure to get it just right is enormous. The other side of the affair, the ceremony, was a little bit more challenging — at least for me. The symbolism of a wedding is beautiful, but when it comes right down to it, I have a pretty hard time participating in rituals, so I was dreading the ceremony. Even thinking about something like that made me feel so self-conscious that it hurt. To her total credit, Aleah did all the heavy lifting there. She wrote the ceremony and the vows, which were very nice, and very brief. I think people appreciated the fact that we didn’t fuck around when it came to putting something between them showing up and them piling into the open bar. The ceremony was good, and it was short, and that’s how it should be.
As parties go, it was a pretty good one. How often do you get your closest friends to dress sharp, travel half way across the country, eat pie, and dry up the bar? Not very often, but I’m thinking that I wouldn’t object if it were to happen again. We were particularly honored by the crazy travel arrangements made by some of our guests. My cousin Don drove up from San Diego the day of the wedding, with three kids. According to Google Maps, the drive is “really fucking far” and is not to be attempted by anyone. TJ foolishly attempted to connect to Reno through Las Vegas on America West airlines, and, as per usual, found himself out of a flight on the last leg because America West is run by bad people. It is not clear what he had to do to make it, but he did. Ben also had to broker some sort of back-alley deal to get to Reno, but his involved wresting control of the communal car away from his horrible co-workers, who happened to be stationed a mere six hour drive away in Las Vegas at the time.
There was a lot of stress running up to the wedding, but, when it finally happened, it was just a damn good time. In particular, our groups of friends from high school, college, and work all got along famously, and the trip out on the town that they made after the venue closed is quickly becoming legend.
So, married life is just fine, but it turns out getting married was the fun part.