Archive for February, 2004

… or do you enjoy killing babies?

I’m a uniter, not a divider. That was one of the slogans of Bush’s campaign back in 2000. Today he announced that he was backing a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage (NY times. Free reg, etc.).
Why now? The administration is claiming that the recent goings-on in Massachusetts and San Francisco have forced the white house to get involved, but those with sharp memories will recall that Bush has been planning to back this amendment for some time now. It is more likely that Karl Rove (the president’s evil chief strategist) finally looked around and noticed that Bush is behind both Kerry and Edwards in election polls, noticed that the economy’s “recovery” was not as robust as promised, noticed that support for the presence in Iraq is waning, and decided that it was time to steer towards a new issue for the election. After all, why focus on the president’s achievements (or lack thereof) when it’s just as easy to tear apart the country with a divisive social issue (can you say George Bush, flag burning, 1992? Yeah, me too) that the states are already working on themselves?

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My friends are bastards

Some people have it better than others.
My friend Jamie got to spend last weekend in Westwood on UCLA’s dime. Today (I’m conjecturing) she and her fiance went and got themselves a piece of history.


I spent the day at my crappy school bombing a midterm. Now I have to do statistics all night.
Bastards. My only consolation is that if the computer is coming from Apple, it won’t be shipped until the next solar eclipse.


Here are some fun links I’ve been looking at in the last few days….
Find your place in the Geek Heirarchy.
Find out what your name means with the Cyborg Name Generator.
Play the Apocalypse Drinking Game.
A great article on the source of all those work from home signs.
I’m ashamed to admit that I’m 66% dixie.
A good way to keep track of who goes where at bedtime.
And finally, for those last minute essays, try the essay generator. You just put in a topic and it pops out an essay. For instance, here’s an essay it cranked out on “my pretty orange kitty”:

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GOB. Definately GOB.

Hey, why don’t you try the shiny, brand new Which Arrested Development Character Are You? quiz and post the results here. As far as I know, it’s the only Arrested Development Character quiz on the web. Eventually, I’ll put a link on the left sidebar. Suggestions/comments are welcome.
In other news, the banner on the top of the homepage now links to an explanation of Cone of Ignorance. I’ll probably add some text about why I chose that particular hostname later.

Internet poop more difficult to find than expected

Area internet user Mike Sheffler was surprised to find Wednesday that “good pictures of poop” are difficult to find on the internet. While amusing animations and various pictures of animal elimination were reportedly easy to locate, he was bewildered by his inability find realistic pictures of either human or animal waste.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. There was this one picture of an elephant pooping in a burlap sack, and it was just … it was great. But, it wasn’t really what I was looking for.”
According to friends of Mr. Sheffler, he has faced similar setbacks in the past while attempting to use Google’s image search to locate “real teen breasts.” In both cases, the source of the consternation was Google’s Safe Search technology.
Sheffler said, “Yeah, you should really turn that thing off. It doesn’t have your best interests in mind.”

oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood

Not only does Quentin Tarentino have a gift for picking vintage tunes for his soundtracks, it seems that he also knows a good cover when he hears one. Check out Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood by Santa Esmerelda on the Kill Bill Soundtrack.
It was (I believe) originally recorded by Gary Moore, and has also been covered by Cyndi Lauper, Elvis Costello, and The Animals.
This is my favorite version so far, but if you’re going to give it a listen, be sure to block out some time. It comes in at a beefy 10:30. Yikes.

The Last Kid Picked For Kickball

Like all math teachers, my Complex Analysis teacher Dr. Aksoy has decided that the true path to math wisdom is a project. Of course, the best way to do a project is in groups. And, as long as we’re going to work in groups, we should randomly pick the groups. Hey, yeah! Swell idea!
Since the class is taught at CMC, I don’t really know anyone. But, I can tell it is a pretty good group, so if it is absolutely necessary to work in groups, I wasn’t too put off by being randomly assigned a partner. I wound up being paired with one of the CMC students, Arianna. She’s one of the few people I have met. Seemed okay.
That was Friday.
This morning, Arianna and another girl walked up to Dr. Aksoy after class. My ears perked up,
“Dr. Aksoy, (mumble, mumble, mumble) CGU students, (mumble, mumble) … and we live right next to each other …. and (mumble, mumble).”
Hmm, I thought. This can’t be leading to anything that will encourage my personal or spiritual growth.
She walked up to me and glanced at me. At her shoes. At me again,
“Hey, uh, Mike.”
We weren’t going out. And, to the best of my knowledge, we weren’t going to a dance, ho-down, or even a box social. But, I still had the distinct impression that I was about to be dumped.
“Uh… Do you know … uh .. that guy?”
She gestured toward the empty seat of Dave, another CGU student, and I sensed some transference comin’ on.
See, the best way to let someone down is to suggest something that will immediately fill the void you’ve left in them. She was going to suggest that I could work with Dave. Oh, and she could work with Dave’s partner! Wow, that would work great for everyone ….
“Yeah,” I said. “Well, at least I know who he is. But … um … uh ….”
Useless. There is no stopping transference once it starts gaining momentum.
“Well, anyway,” she said meekly. “I live right next to the girl he’s working with, so I was thinking that I could work with her, and you could work with him.”
“Yeah. Sure. That’s fine, I guess.”
“Are you sure?”
Well you’re sure. Isn’t that all that matters?. I fully expected her to give the name of someone I could talk to. You know, if I was having problems.
As a kid, I had always been good at kickball. In fact, I kicked enough ass at kickball that I was always one of the first three people picked, despite my sub A-list popularity. Strangely, being sloughed off to another student for a project was deflating. I’m not upset with Arianna, but I am a little dissapointed. I figured that this is what it must feel like to be picked last for kickball.
Later in the day, I saw Dave in the math building. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he had been picked last too.

Erections lasting more than four hours, while rare, require immediate medical help

To quote the estimable Richard Roeper, To all the parents horrified by Janet’s boob: What did you say to your kids about the ad with the tagline, “Erections lasting more than four hours, while rare, require immediate medical help?”
Americans have been almost universally condemned by the rest of the world for our topsy-turvy attitudes regarding sex and violence. For those of you just joining us, allow me to summarize:
Sex bad. Violence good.
I’m not about to espouse that oh-so-popular opinion that violent video games and movies turn our nations youth into deviants, criminals, and republicans. But, I do have a hard time believing that exposure erotic content (gasp!) will forever scar our children.
I guess I’m alone up on my high horse, though. According to the New York Times (free reg. required), Congress and the FCC are teaming up to focus on pay television indecency.
The argument is that just by clicking up to a higher channel, we are no longer subject to the strict decency standards of broadcast television. I sure hope they do something about it soon. I’ve been having a hard time enjoying Six Feet Under, what with all of the swearing, dead bodies, and gay sex.
It’s depressing to see society take a huge step backward in a knee jerk reaction. While today’s TV is more salacious than ever, it is also some of the funniest and most powerful programming to date. It’s sad to think that even less people will have access to quality programming like Six Feet Under and South Park, or that shows like NYPD Blue and even CSI will have to pull their punches just because some people refuse to explain and take control of the content viewed by their children.

Hey There, Mr. Blue Sky

Today is the first good day I’ve had in a really long time. I understood the material in Complex Analysis, I kicked the ass of a bunch of statistics problems, but I didn’t really realize I was having a good day until my Statistics class this evening.
The class is three hours long and we had already been there for almost an hour and a half, so we were overdue for a break. As I checked my watch I realized that I wasn’t sleepy or even bored. I was understanding the material. I was participating. I was … having a good time! I couldn’t believe it. I think this is the very first time since leaving SOU that I have actually had a good time in class.
I figured it was a good day to start my blog.